It breaks my heart to have her say that. She's my baby. She's growing up without me. I've missed her birthday 3 times in a row now. Because i have been gone.
I don't know when I'll see her again.
That's got me feeling kind of empty. I know she's growing up and she really isn't my baby anymore, but she will always be my baby.
I got to take her to Lagoon last summer and we had a blast. Guess it's gonna be quite awhile before I ever get a chance to that again.
Then last night, I opened up to Steve like I have never done before. I found myself periodically wondering if that was really the right move. I don't know. I'm still waiting to see the proof in the pudding to see what happens. It really depends on him.
Yesterday, Steve's Mom once again told me that she enjoys having me around and that I make a nice addition. And she had me add pictures of me and Maddie to the flashdrive to her picture frame. I wasn't going to cause Steve and I aren't married.
I probably won't tell Steve about that. Only way he'll find out is by reading my blog.
Maybe it was a good thing, to open up to him though.
I have been told by many people through out my life that I think too much. And I do. I analyze and question pretty much everything.
One of my worries about Steve & I is that I might be damaged goods cause I have become quite jaded from the past relationships I have had.
I use to have my tongue pierced, and when I did my sister (Kristy), gave me a copy of the song "Flagpole Sitta". Cause it says in there about wanting to pierce my tongue, it doesn't hurt, it feels just fine.
But that was when we were actually friends. I think about 8 years ago. Like that will ever happen again. I kinda don't care cause I'm still pretty pissed at her. And she is with me, also.
I still miss my family though.
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