A Shorty :)

Today was a little better than the past couple of days.
I eased up on worrying so much over Steve's health issues. That relieved some stress. I guess i need to just take the ques from him.
I spent some time talking with his Mom today. I am going to make a bracelet for her out of some beads she brought back from Mexico. She also wants to show me some pictures of Steve. She said she wanted to run them past him first. He and I, think that if it is some pictures from when he was a child, then there should be no reason for her to have to worry about that. So, as usual..... My mind goes straight to what if they are pics of him and his ex! I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THOSE!
I enjoy talking with her though. She is really nice.
I don't talk much to Dave. Mostly because i am kinda shy. He is the exact same age as my Father would be if he was still alive.
I am still having trouble with missing Maddie. I wish I could hug her. And be there to read her a story at bedtime. (Dank meiner Mammas, Ich werde nicht ist zu überhaupt wiederholen das in der Lage. : ( )
I have certain songs that remind me of her. She use to always ask me to play "Hitchin'n A Ride" by Green Day. She loved that song. I don't know why. Although when she was younger, I use to listen to Green Day a lot. Every time I listen to Presidents Of The United States Of America, I always think about how when she was a baby (about 1-3 months old), I use to play their first cd on low to put her to sleep. I listened to that a lot when i was pregnant with her.
When I think about when i was pregnant with her, I remember how when i first found out I pregnant, I knew inside that i was having a girl.
It's kind of funny. My first pregnancy with my son, I never felt that way. I think it had to do a lot with my whole situation of being in Seattle and who I was with. I was living in fear quite a bit. Kind of sad, that.
I have had to always walk alone and face/fight this world alone. (And I always had screwed up or twisted ways of dealing with the world....) Now Steve stands besides me. He's my best friend. Among other things. ;) Someday Steve and I will be on our feet again. I know we will.