No Water!

Today, (and all of last night), Steve has been up in the attic... Again...
But today he had to shut off the water cause he is working on the pipe work in the house.
Me? I started doing lessons online for Italian. And relearning HTML... They say it has changed since 1997, but honestly; it hasn't. The only reason why i haven't started doing my blog by writing all the HTML for it, is because usually I don't get to work on my blog until late at night and I am too tired by then to care.
Plus, I don't want to really mess up everything on this blog. That's a lot to redo in HTML.
When I lived in Nevada, I use to design websites. I did it all. Even created my own graphics. I learned quite a bit about that stuff in Nevada.
At this moment i am trying to rescheduel my Dr appointment...... (It takes FOREVER!) You get stuck on perma-hold!
My Mom told me that my Grandma isn't doing to well. I haven't ever mentioned it to my Mom but I think the reason my Grandma pushes herself too far, or doesn't takes care of herself when she gets hurt, or just doesn't in general; is because i think she doesn't care and she wants to die. Which is a sad thought.
The only reason i come to that conclusion is because of what I have picked up from psychologists, and therapists and a few books that i have read. And from experience...(Ahem....)
I could be wrong. But I do know that she thinks that nobody loves her.
I do. I miss her in the sense that i miss how she use to be. But I still love her, and I am afraid that she is going to die. Similar situation happened in 1995 when I lived in Seattle and my Great-Grandmother died. I miss her too. She was from Prussia (which has been gone since the end of WWII), and it was because of her and my family's german lineage; that influenced me to take German in high school.
Sometimes I wish I could got back, and be closer to my family. But that will probably never happen. Too much water under that bridge.
Ich sprach gerade mit meiner Mamma. Sie erklärte mir, dass Maddie ihr über Steve erklärte, der an ihr kreischt, als wir mit ihm in Utah lebten. Und jetzt wie üblich tadelt meine Mamma alles, das mit Maddie auf ihm falsch ist, Chris und mich. Sie lässt Maddie nicht kommen sieht mich. Und ich kann sie ein paar Stunden lang nur besuchen, als ich dort steige. I can' t führen sie aus, um oder zum Park zu essen. Nichts. Dieses ist, wenn meine Vergangenheit mich Oberseite der Kopf klatscht und mich verwirklichen lässt, wie viel einer Verwirrung alles ist. Steve doesn' t glauben mir, wenn ich sage, dass ich meine Tochter verloren habe. Ich bedeute es buchstäblich! Ich habe meine Tochter VERLOREN. Möglicherweise waren sie an der Gipfel-Hütte recht. Meine Mamma war heraus, meine Tochter von mir zu nehmen. Für, was überhaupt dieser kranke Grund sein kann. Mit so werde ich auch bestraft für, wem ich bin. Ich möchte verschwinden.